Memories of a Werewolf
by Punk Rock Hippie
Summary: Remus Lupin copes with the deaths of both his blood family and his brothers in the Marauders.


"Sirius!" Harry Potter's voice bellowed. He tried to pass into the veil himself,

but Remus held him firmly for several moments. At last, Harry broke away,

yelling curses to both Belatrix and Remus for his restraint. It was done then.

He was the lone Marauder.

Remus bolted awake, cold sweat dripping from his forehead, his long premature

grey hair soaked thoroughly from back to front, as Nymphadora's limp figure lay

next to him in the otherwise still bed.

He had had this same dream, night after night since Sirius' fell in the

Department of Mysteries. The same horrible thoughts raced through his head day

and night, keeping him awake night after night, and his sleep in only a light

state when he was able to drift.

He noiselessly climbed from the bed, Nymphadora quietly shifting, trapped deep

within her own dream. Remus weakly smiled down on the beautiful figure he had

grown to know so well in the past few months before turning and creeping out the

dilapidated doorframe of the bedroom.

For several months he had lived in Grimauld place with Sirius, although decrepit

in it's own right, it was a mansion compared to this shack. After Sirius' death,

the Order had relocated, and with Black family security charms that only Sirius

knew of, Remus was forced to move also, though he was sure Harry as new owner

would allow him to stay on. It was a relief in a way, at least he didn't have to

face the constant tangible reminders of Sirius, only the memories.

Instead, Remus had returned to the only home he'd ever actually owned, the one

that his parents had worked so hard to own while he was a youngin. It wasn't

much, even by lower class standards, but it was all the Lupins could afford with

three children, one of which being a werewolf with costly medication and only

one parent able to work. A kitchen, living-room, two bedrooms and an outhouse

outback, and they were so proud of the house the owned. How sad, Remus thought

as he slipped out the noisy door in only his boxers, careful to muffle the door

as much as possible.

The cool air on his back eased Remus' mind ever so little, as it always did out

on his parents property. His mind was free of the thoughts of Sirius, but

returned to thoughts of his older brother and sister, murdered by death eaters

for not giving away Remus' own location after he joined the order...a location

they didn't know.

Remus began to walk through the familiar woods of his childhood, the woods

Fenrir had dragged him through that fateful night long ago, his shadow hidden by

those of the trees in the waning moonlight. He found himself wandering the long

familiar path he himself had made over several months, to the small clearing in

the center of the woods, another work of his.

A single tear dripped from his eye as he walked through the rickety gate made of

fallen tree branches, the only entrance to the fenced in cemetery. As poor as

they were with his medical bills, the Lupins never were able to dig themselves

out of debt and were unable to afford funeral arrangements. Instead, Remus saw

to all four of his family members being set to rest in this roughly made

cemetery, his mother and father together and his brother and sister. Only

fitting, as Romulus died a heroes death, defending his sister till the end.

Arriving at the lone tombstone which read: Lupin Family, Remus dropped to his

knees, put his head into his palms and he wept. He wept for the innocence Fenrir

raped from his childhood, for the murder of his siblings, the illness of his

father and broken heart of his mother, the betrayal of his once best friend

Peter, the death of Lily and James, the boy who lived that never knew his

parents, and now for the first time he openly wept for the loss of Sirius. The

most loyal of the four, he thought.

Suddenly a hand came to rest on his exposed shoulder. Remus recoiled,

embarrassed by the state Nymphadora found him in. "I-" he began, but she

silenced him, wrapping her arms around the pitiful man he had become.

"Shhhh. I'm here Remmy, and everything will be alright." Nymphadora silently

brushed her Purple bangs from her eyes and brought them to meet Remus'.

"Everything is going to be alright in the end my love." and kissed him on his

soaked cheek.

The two figures sat huddled together for another half hour before Remus spoke in

a raspy voice: "Do you have your wand?"

"Always," she said producing her wand from her evening gown. Brushing the

remaining tears from his eyes, Remus took the wand and fumbled around the loose

footstones he had poorly placed over a decade before until he found a large

smooth one.

Taking the tip of the wand, he traced the words: 'Sirius Black, gone in body,

but forever living in spirit' on the stone. "I'm afraid it'll fade." he said as

he dug a shallow hole to place the bottom of the make-shift tombstone. "But I'll

retrace the words every week until the day I die if it kills me." He turned back

to Nymphadora giving her a passionate kiss. "Let's get back to bed sweetheart."

Nymphadora smiled, as did Remus though his was quite weak, and the two turned to

walk back to the shack hand in hand.


End file.
